Imagine experiencing a tough day—nothing seems to go right, and you feel overwhelmed. Then, out of nowhere, a friend asks you, “Hey, how are you doing?” Suddenly, you feel relief, a reminder that you’re not alone. This small kindness of message can entirely change your perspective. You might feel more strengthened in the relationship.
This is the power of reciprocity—a principle that goes beyond just giving and receiving. Individuals can experience emotional healing and mental resilience through mutual support as solo journeys. However, building resilience can involve others, too. Understand why some people never experienced reciprocity and how we teach participants during our retreat to discover the causes of these blockages. Learning how to heal the process to fulfil reciprocity is one of our goals during every workshop and group sharing, creating a safe bond between participants to apply once they go back home.
Nature of Reciprocity
Reciprocity, the exchange of actions among persons, belongs at the very heart of human sociality. A simple gesture of giving exemplifies spontaneous generosity, and such latent propensity underlies all trust and cooperation within personal relationships. This simple but very effective illustration shows how reciprocity forms an instinct implanted within the social fabric of the individual that acts as a way of increasing trust and relationships. That is where the Ayahuasca Retreat Center in Brazil is dedicated to people who feel the call to connect with their essence at a deeper level. A program is established to unblock and develop the connection spiritually. We aim to guide participants to find balance within themselves and love their uniqueness.
Depending on the intention of a person, the setting, the culture, the energy and intention of the facilitator, people may:
- Find the cause of depression
- Clear blockages and traumas
- Enhance efficiency and concentration
- Amplified feelings and emotions
- And a sense of time and space
Ayahuasca’s powerful effects help individuals heal from trauma and foster emotional resilience. Reciprocity allows individuals to heal, grow and support one another through shared experiences. This natural healing way enables people to navigate life’s challenges together. To learn more about how Ayahuasca works and its transformative potential, check out What is Ayahuasca, a guide to understanding this healing tool.
Understanding the Definition of Reciprocity in Psychology
Reciprocity is the fuel behind a cycle of kindness among humans. Humans emotionally bond through giving and receiving.
The process of socialisation is critical in instilling the disposition to reciprocate. With experience, children learn to express their thoughts to their peers, take turns, and engage in interactions that benefit both parties. However, some children never learned how to regulate their emotions because they were neglected and/or they were emotionally, psychologically or physically abused.
For example, suppose you ever feel obligated to do something for someone because they first did something for you. In that case, you will respond to the norm of reciprocity rather than the need to control others because you were abused, and now others perceive you as dangerous.
Due to childhood traumas, some people are unable to feel empathy or to be relaxed in intimacy; abused people are hypervigilant because they feel that at any moment, something bad will happen. Unveiling the root causes of social anxiety and trust issues will eventually overcome this painful loop and start feeling peaceful and comfortable with others for the first time. Ayahuasca Retreat Center will find the cause of blockages from different modalities.
How Emotional Reciprocity Builds Resilience
Resilience implies being able to bounce back after adversity. Emotional intelligence helps in emotion management and outlook during adversity. When people feel related to others, they will definitely feel valued and supported.
Supporting others also increases a person’s resilience. Better supportive relationships help people bear hardships much better and even more forcefully.
What is Emotional Reciprocity?
Emotional reciprocity is more than just offering help—it’s about understanding that support is a two-way street. Whether it’s lending a listening ear or sharing moments of vulnerability, emotional reciprocity builds a secure base for individuals to thrive, particularly in times of stress.
But what happens when somebody grew up in a dysfunctional family where, for different reasons, they didn’t receive enough attention or were neglected or abused?
Of course, there are different degrees of trauma, neglect, and abuse. But even smaller degrees are painful and create repetitive patterns of behavior. During the retreat, each participant will learn their own patterns of behavior, the root causes, and the way out of these painful loops.
Characters of healthy emotional Reciprocity and when it is not possible:
- Open communication: Partners are comfortable sharing their needs and being willing to meet each other’s needs with respect to individual differences vs trying to change the other, claiming they are wrong or selfish, putting them down, and blaming them for their dissatisfaction.
- Interdependence: Partners support each other while maintaining a clear sense of self, versus co-dependency or power fights. Low self-esteem can cause a victim mindset, where one wants to please the other, eventually feeling resentful inside, or one wants to control their partner through guilt.
- Mutual exchange: Each partner feels they are giving and receiving energy. Unresolved trauma will block the natural giving and receiving of energy; for example, fear of abandonment makes some people learn very early in childhood how to manipulate and control others. Fear-based people can be addicted to suffering without realizing it. In the victim mindset, people need their partner to save them, don’t want to take risks and feel stuck in life, blaming their partners for everything they didn’t do.
Building Resilience Through Mutual Support
A study by Uchino et al. in Psychological Science (2018) clearly points out how social support actually enhances psychological resilience. There is a tendency for relationships that are reciprocal to have greater coping effectiveness in the context of stressors. Interactions create contexts for interpersonal life. Individuals feel appreciation, understanding, and closeness. This builds emotional resilience. The results show that strong social networks provide material support. They also help people recover from trauma and cope with life’s problems.
The Importance of Community in Building Resilience
Reciprocal relationships flourish within healthy communities. When people engage in mutual support, they can share resources, offer encouragement, and validate one another’s experiences. This collective resilience creates a support network that benefits individuals and strengthens the community in the face of adversity.
All our workshops during the retreats are designed to unblock any trauma preventing us from engaging in healthy relationships, bringing to the consciousness hidden memories that need attention. The problem with unconscious traumatic experiences is that the shadow of the unconscious dark side takes over, projecting all negativity onto others, creating very unhealthy boundaries with people, and attracting the type of people who will perpetuate the pain of these unresolved issues. A loop of co-dependency or trauma bonds with people who need to feel superior to feel worthy, manipulating us to feel guilt if we don’t please them. Regression to childhood and shadow workshops are basic to the healing process.
I wrote extensively about the lack of empathy in the quartet of articles about Narcissistic personality disorder in this blog.
Scholars’ Insights on Reciprocity Psychology
In his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Cialdini shows that we are programmed to reciprocate when someone does something for us. This biological instinct is at the heart of reciprocity psychology, which explains why developing and maintaining reciprocal connections may be so effective in healing.
Another academic, John Bowlby, the originator of attachment theory, emphasized the importance of secure emotional ties in childhood and how these affect resilience later in life. Bowlby’s idea is synonymous with emotional reciprocity; people who feel well off in their relationships develop the strength to face life challenges confidently.
Emotional Reciprocity in Action
When I give emotional reciprocity, I am also learning how to receive it. Support reduces loneliness, boosts self-esteem, and regulates emotions. Helping others can boost the helper’s self-worth. The needy person gains support. This creates a balanced, resilient emotional bond.
In group therapy settings, members usually share mutual support. From Yalom’s factors that affect group therapy, mutual support is one of the factors that facilitate healing. This support helps participants grow as individuals. The members get help not only from the therapist but also from their peers, making them stronger. This is what we encourage and teach them at the beginning of our retreats; it makes them a safe space where they feel free to share and open up.
Reciprocity Psychology in Trauma Recovery
In trauma recovery, reciprocity psychology can also be particularly helpful. Emotional reciprocity allows individuals to feel connected, reducing the common isolation after traumatic events. Judith Herman’s book titled “Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror” was published in 1997. In this book, Herman discusses the psychological effects of trauma and emphasizes the importance of relational connections and mutual support in the recovery process.
How to Deal With Lack of Reciprocity
While reciprocity may sound simple, it can be challenging to practice, especially in a world where individualism is often prioritized. People may resist asking for help due to feelings of pride or fear of being burdensome, which can create barriers to emotional reciprocity.
Here are some ways to deal with reciprocity in a relationship:
Discuss honestly and openly: If you are afraid to communicate openly in a relationship, you might be dealing with toxicity.
For a relationship to work smoothly, you must be ready to communicate and share your feelings, intents, needs, and wishes with your partner, and especially to set healthy boundaries.
Be committed to one another: Another aspect of dealing with reciprocity is staying committed to your partner. Commitment goes beyond being physically present; it involves showing support when needed but respecting each other’s individualities and feeling complete in themselves. Giving and receiving support vs. co-dependency, control issues, manipulation, and power fights.
Trust one another: Trust is important to maintaining reciprocity in a relationship. An individual must build trust with your partner and integrate other attributes like confidence, patience, loyalty, etc. Some people never complete the individuation process, so they cannot feel compassion or empathy. They are highly manipulative, and it is not possible to reach this state with this type of person because they don’t see others as individuals; they see them as extensions of themselves; they are like judges deciding what is right or wrong, how you should be and even projecting all the negativity to their partners.
Tips for Fostering Emotional Reciprocity in Relationships
Be receptive and available to give and receive. Do you know that acceptance comes in two ways? Below are the tips to foster reciprocity in relationships:
- Create a safe space: Bring honesty and openness into your relationships.
- Healthy Reciprocity: Respect the boundaries of personal space and emotional limits.
- Practice gratitude: Appreciate whatever help you get for your inner health.
Conclusion: Encourage Reciprocity for Mutual Interaction
This would best be achieved by incorporating these concepts into daily lives to improve resilience and healing. Reciprocal psychology development improves one’s own well-being. You build emotional health and resilience by employing these principles in therapy, a close relationship, or within a community. Reciprocation psychology can be a psychological tool for emotional development and strength by encapsulating the power of reciprocal support. When you feel the call to connect spiritually, contact Ayahuasca Retreat Center.
